incautious nauseous

In the past two weeks...COLD.

Down to -10 degrees at the coldest, so cold that ice formed inside our windows where normally we'd have a bit of condensation.

Although we were prepared for up to 8 inches of snow, we only received a couple of inches, and the wind scoured the open fields to a mere dusting.

That meant a nice pile-up elsewhere, though.  Lovely sharp shelves and undulating ridges.

And my favorite...snow tracks!  Curious birds, walking...

...or briefly alighting, leaving behind a spread of wings.

Lots of rabbits with their easily-identifiable double tracks...

...and patterns.

This is something with a tail...most likely a field mouse.

Believe it or not, even our moles were active!  Moles don't hibernate, and they've absolutely decimated our side yard this past month.  Here you can see a fresh pile of soil, evidence that one has burrowed to the surface recently.  Claudia was tucked safely away in our temperature-controlled barn...too cold for cats outside!...but I hope she has some happy hunting soon.

We made sure to keep the feeders full during this cold snap, and the birds responded.  I don't think I've seen our front tree so overloaded with them before!

All puffed up to help stay warm.

Now our weather has warmed to near 60 degrees, and there are reports of spring bulbs starting to prematurely sprout.  I haven't been able to go outside and check, because I've been laid low by an attack of anxiety nausea.  

Anxiety nausea, if you don't know, is where your subconscious mind and your body decide together that there's a threat.  They react by flooding you with nausea-inducing adrenaline, leaving your rational mind behind, yelling like a pesky kid:  "Wait up, guys!!"  I've suffered from it since elementary school, miserable episodes that have lasted months at a time.  You can't reason though them.  You can't "breathe them away," as the unhelpful doctor at Urgent Care suggested.  Medicine?  Haven't found any yet. Nothing helps.  You can't eat.  You can't be move around.  You're in bed, prostrate with nausea, until things beyond your rational control decide that the threat is removed.  

Frances, trying to make me feel better in his own way

This particular attack was triggered by a recent migraine.  I haven't found a prescription that works well against them yet, so I'm anxious about developing one.  I felt a familiar pressure last week...no migraine came, but it didn't matter. The pressure alone was enough to trigger an episode of anxiety nausea.  Last night I moaned to Todd, "Tomorrow, I'll be able to say that seven days with anxiety nausea makes one (weak) week!"  Being able to joke about it means that I'm feeling better, and so does the fact that I was able to actually eat three small meals (after a week of choking down saltines).  Already this morning, I can tell that I'll be able to shower today(!!!).  This particular attack is going to be a short one, but phew!  What a week.  Still, in my weak and distracted way, I've been excited about the new year.  I have so many amazing plans and projects in my notebooks.  I want this to be a life-changing year and I'm going to work hard to make it happen.

Happy New Year!!